This week we discuss the following chapters from A Clash of Kings, and wax poetic about flaming hot Cheetos.
In Jon's chapter, Sam has finally found his place at The Wall, and it's (obviously) in the library. But our poor parchment loving buddy still has to go a'ranging. Jon tries to help him and Lord Commander Mormont prepare. In the process there's a lot of Targaryen history discussed, and conspicuous chirping done by Mormont's raven. We also speculate about how the god damn wall magic works (we don't know,) and Jon avoids the Mole's Town whores like the plague. Which some of them might have... so, good call.
In Catelyn's chapter, Robb sends terms of peace to Cersei, while he and Cat have some fundamental disagreements on strategy. Brynden provides insight on some of Robb's poorer recent decisions, and Cat blames herself for everything. Lots of people are dead, Hoster is soon to be, and it's a very engaging bummer of a chapter. We like how all of the politics are broken down, and it probably wouldn't be as somber if we weren't already aware of these characters' fates.
Finally in Tyrion's chapter, he treats Janos Slynt to a very generous last-meal of sorts, and there's no detail spared in describing that nasty frog man dribbling Dornish wine all over himself. Tyrion is, to say the very least, disturbed that Cersei is having babies and whores murdered, and sends Slynt off to the wall in magnificent fashion. We wonder if Bronn would actually follow similar orders if given them, and we wonder if the curse of Harrenhal has anything to do with it being made (in part) of Weirwood.